If your Ford had a Matthew McConaughey, it would be a Lincoln

Well, erm, ye'.

What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but their flag is a huge plus.

What does a grape say when it gets stepped on?
Nothing, it just lets out a little wine!

What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, they just waved.

I broke my arm in two places, you know what the doctor said?
Stay out of those places!


What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

What’s the difference between a well dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bike?


Two guys walk into a bar, the third guy ducks.

Who’s the king of the classroom?
The Ruler!

I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me!

Three nuns are sitting on a park bench.
A man comes up and exposes himself to them.
Two of them have a stroke. But the third one couldn’t reach.


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