If your Ford had a Matthew McConaughey, it would be a Lincoln

Well, erm, ye'.

What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but their flag is a huge plus.

What does a grape say when it gets stepped on?
Nothing, it just lets out a little wine!

What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, they just waved.

I broke my arm in two places, you know what the doctor said?
Stay out of those places!

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What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
Supplies!

What’s the difference between a well dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bike?
Attire!

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Two guys walk into a bar, the third guy ducks.

Who’s the king of the classroom?
The Ruler!

I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me!

Three nuns are sitting on a park bench.
A man comes up and exposes himself to them.
Two of them have a stroke. But the third one couldn’t reach.

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