Just dropped off my wife and work and was heading off on my way. 4 lane road, 2 lanes in each direction, fairly heavy traffic. I was in the left lane, but needed to be in the right.

I’m basically bumper to bumper with the guy ahead of me, and there is a black Taurus to my right, just slightly ahead. Mr. Taurus driver had approximately 6 car lengths of space ahead of him, because that is the way a lot of jackasses drive, even in heavy slow moving traffic. So I lift throttle, signal, and let Mr Taurus get ahead far enough to begin my lane change.

This would have been no problem, but I literally watched as this guy cocks his head to look at me in the rearview, and instead of maybe hurrying up and opening the gap for me this fuckstick actually hits the brakes, completely hindering my ability to merge without stopping or slamming into him.

Ok. Fuck You... But ok.

So I follow Mr. I need buslengths of cushion, and we approach an intersection... Slowly. I’m already past the white line when the light turns yellow, now solidly in the middle, and what does this guy do? He stops. He stops with enough room in front of him for a tractor trailer to fit, leaving me stuck blocking the box.

So I did what any good tempered driver would do. I laid on the horn and screamed “What the fuck are you fucking doing!!!!!!!”


Annnnd, it was an undercover. Not the usual Taurus easily spottable undercover, so perhaps his personal vehicle, but that POS lit up like a Christmas tree.

Then he pulled forward and shut off the lights.

I still fingered him though. Even if it was below the dashboard.