If your Ford had a Matthew McConaughey, it would be a Lincoln

Well that's easily the stupidest thing I've done all year

Long story short: If you see a Hells Angel’s-wannabe fuckwad driving his bike like a dick, don’t purposely piss him off. I was minding my own business in the right lane going the speed limit when I’m suddenly deafened by a bike with weird-ass exhaust passing on the left driven by a guy in a leather jacket. I then watched him lanesplit past one group of cars and pass on the left shoulder past some others. The road soon cleared of cars and I sped up to see what this asshole’s issue was. Why? I don’t know. I eventually ended up behind him as he did 85-90 in a 60, and he happened to take the same exits that I did. I dunno why but I really wanted to flip this asshole off. I probably should have eaten lunch, maybe then I would have been thinking straight. I head off down an offramp and he slams on his brakes *on the shoulder* and gets behind me, then pulls up next to my open left window when I pull up to the stop sign at the bottom of the offramp.

“You got a fuckin’ problem, kid?”

“Yeah, I don’t appreciate the way you ride that thing.”

“What do you want from me?”

“Less lanesplitting, passing on the shoulder, maybe having even a passing regard for the law and considerate driving.”


“Oh fuck you you little pissant”

At this point he started reaching for the fairly obvious gun in his jacket. A quick check of oncoming traffic revealed I was good to turn right at any time, so I made my escape after barking out some laughter at this asshole pulling a gun on a kid in a civic in the middle of traffic.

Lesson learned: Eat lunch so you don’t do stupid shit in response to other people doing stupid shit, road rage is real, don’t piss off people with guns.

Got it?

This is Professor Jake signing off.


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