Went to another open house today

It was another spectacle. In the 20 minutes we were there, 27 people showed up. Virtually all of which were well-to-do investor/landlord types. I was the only one out there going over the exterior and perimeter while all the shmucks yucked it up inside.

It was a hard flip. New paint, new fence, new roof, new vinyl (UGH) siding. But the kitchen with its original hardwood felt about 2" out of level compared to the rest of the home. This will come into play later.


Anyway, outside: they had thrown down new grass but your shoe actually sinks in two inches everywhere you step. What the hell? So I walk through more mud that’s supposed to be grass. I find a creek running down the slope through the backyard. There’s also an unnerving body of standing water behind the garage. The creek runs down 30 vertical feet into an unlabled bigly big body of water maybe 20 feet away from the house. Also on that side was a brand new cedar fence that was not properly treated, parts of which were visibly soaked 3 feet up. You could look under the fence and see that some pickets were 6" deep in the mud, some 3" deep, and some 2" above. Given the consistency of the soil, the slope of the property, and the large body of water directly outside of the fence, it appears there is some rather extreme erosion going on.

In addition, also too close to the steep drop, is a shed. They took the time to paint it, but I found the two outer corners - again, facing the slope - shimmed up with small cuts of 2x4s. The roof on the shed was not replaced. As a result, the ceiling was seized with white mold and soaked.


We go to leave, but I come across a storm celler on the side of the house. Oh hell yeah I’m gonna take a look at this Trainwreck. What? Oh, they BOLTED IT COMPLETELY SHUT with a new metal slab so you can’t get down there. Hmmm.

The search continues.

House that isn’t going to sink into the river for your time:

Illustration for article titled Went to another open house today

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