If your Ford had a Matthew McConaughey, it would be a Lincoln

What Car Can Outrun A Crazy Woman Piloting An Attack Heli?

Now, before you jump to the comments to make your answers, I should provide a setting and some circumstances for you to consider, since this is two-part action set piece we’re talking about.

August 31, 1300 hours. Death Valley. You hold a folding gun—standard issue—on your right hand, you hold a briefcase containing five hard drives loaded with specifics for three different military operations that will wipe out all of al-Qaeda, Boko Haram, and Islamic State at once, and without collateral damage or civilian casualties, in the other. That briefcase used to be with an ultra-fundamental extremist-fascist Quiverfull (played by Shirley Manson), and now she is chasing you in her personal AH-6i Little Bird, armed with a Dillon M134 Gatling Gun below the cockpit and missiles at the weapons pylons. You manage to get in a hangar full of cars just before your first getaway car gets shredded by tracers.

Now you have to choose the car you’ll use. Your first one barely got away with it, so you’ve got to choose wisely. And quickly, because every other car you didn’t choose in that hangar—and that hangar—will go up in smoke in just 5 rockets. She hovers above, waiting for you to come out, not knowing there’s a small butte with an exit some 15 miles away. She finds, you, fires, probably hits the sides of your chosen car, but soon you get back on the road and into the Vegas strip. You get the case back to where it belongs, you get a RPG, the heli blows up with her in it.

Question: what car did you choose?

My choice is this.


It’s burly enough to take shots and boss around traffic, agile enough to dance past the spray, and fast enough to help you get away with it, be it desert or over other cars.

How about you? What car would you drive if a criminal mastermind is chasing you with an attack chopper? You may choose two cars, one for a road chase and one for an off-road chase, or choose just one for both. It’s your call.

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