What sort of dullard would buy a brand-new S65 AMG?

Forget the G65, the Mercedes-AMG S65 AMG by AMG or whatever the fuck it’s called these days has to be the worst new car value I’ve ever seen. Why? Well, it’s $80,000 more expensive than an S63, despite the S63 having only 18 fewer horsepower and being 0.8 of a second faster to 60 miles an hour. Ok, so the V12 is gonna be smoother and faster at the top end, but is that difference worth $80,000? Even if you’ve got more money than you know what to do with, that seems like incredibly diminished returns. Hell, it’s not that far off the amount of money it would take to get you in a used current-gen S65 AMG.


And if you really want smoothness, get the sublime S 650 Maybach, which uses the exact same 6.0 biturbo V12 as the S65, making the exact same power and torque and taking only an extra 0.4 seconds to get to 60. The Maybach sacrifices only a small amount of speed to the S65, gains you a boatload of extra luxury, and get this, it still costs $30,000 less than the S65!

None of this is taking into account the fact that the Bentley Flying Spur W12 makes basically the same power and 0-60 times as the S65, is a good deal more prestigious, far more opulent, and even that costs a few thousand dollars less.

So to recap, the S65 AMG, a car which has historically been one of my favorite cars, and which falls under one of my favorite categories of cars, no longer has a reason to exist. You’d have to be a moron to buy one new. And I don’t mean that in the way Jeremy Clarkson does when he says you’d have to be a moron to buy X silly fun car over Y sensible, objective car. I mean an actual moron.

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