...I will open a trust that will facilitate an Oppo Racing Team (ORT). There will be enough money to purchase a car agreed upon by “top” Opponauts*, prep it for race duty, and pay for two season’s worth of races. The rules:

1. No Miatas, or diesel station wagon,

2. Everyone signs proper waivers,

3. I am appointed “Mod Emeritus/God of All Things Oppo”, with no chance of revoking my status, ever,

4. Jalopnik Gold®,

5. The team’s battle cry will be “Yeeeeehaaaaw!!” (Non-negotiable),

6. Annual ORT egging of Gas Monkey’s Dallas location,

7. Fireworks, and

8. Everyone has fun!

So there ya go. Wish me luck, everybody!

* I’m picking out the car, because some of you jackasses would prefer to drive a Fiat over a Hellcat, and I can’t stand for that.