If your Ford had a Matthew McConaughey, it would be a Lincoln

When you want to push your car into a life of exotic dancing

Break out that bottle of tire glitter!

Update: I do want to take this opportunity to emphasize this - glitter is the herpes of the craft world. Once you make contact, you have it for life.

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You’ll burp after a heavy meal in your 70s and randomly make a cloud of glitter. And then you can reminisce your wild days, huffing tire glitter, giving in to your child’s screams at the craft store or - as I am just now learning - strippers.

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