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Where are their arms and legs?

Got a call from my dispatch this evening:

Dispatch: So, one of the rental agencies has a snake in their office.

Me: Wow, bummer. I don’t like snakes. Hope they can get it out.

Dispatch: They’re all freaking out and won’t go back in the office.

Me: I don’t blame them.

Dispatch: Well, animal control said they are down a few people and can’t give an ETA, and the deputy nearby doesn’t want to handle it. I’m pretty sure it’s a small snake though.


Me: *Sigh* Okay, I’ll go take a look. Just keep a camera on me in case it tries to constrict around me neck and eat me.

So I get out there, and sure enough, there’s a snake in the office. Thankfully not too big of an ordeal. I was able to get it to wrap around a small broom I keep in my truck, and transport it into a cardboard box. Then I load it up, drive it out to a grassy area near the perimeter, and let it go.


But the whole time, I’m humming a little tune from Bob’s Burgers to myself.

For the record, I think it’s a stretch to say I’m afraid of them. I’ve seen hundreds out in my hikes/camping/other outdoor activities. I just tend to stay away from them when possible. They don’t want anything to do with me, and I’m generally happy to return the favor.


Wish I took a picture of it, but I really just wanted to be done with the thing as soon as possible. I’m almost 100% sure it was a gopher snake, about 30-36" long, still fairly young if I had to guess. Looked almost exactly like this in terms of color and pattern:

Illustration for article titled Where are their arms and legs?

For your time, a much more awesome type of snake...

Illustration for article titled Where are their arms and legs?

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