At the rallycross! That’s where!

Slow car fast baby!
Photo: Mediocre Rally Team

Take two on this story, as Kinja ate my first draft. That’s what I get for authoring it in Kinja, I should know better.

Anyways, I’ve written several times about my rallycross exploits, and pestered you several more times to come join me. Some of my fellow Opponauts have answered the bell. LongbowMk2 drove all the way up from Kentucky to participate in the ill-fated but still fun snowmudmaggadonbowl500 last year. Birddog has actually codriven the RallyMetro a few times now. MasterMario impressed the hell out of us this spring, by whipping his extended cab F-150 around that tight little track like a boss!

Let me tell you, anybody who wasn’t there last Sunday was missing out! The course they laid out was the coolest one yet IMO, and track conditions were the best I’ve ever seen. We were worried coming into it, as it rained the night before and was forecasted to rain during the day as well. Word from the venue was that the track had been exceedingly dry beforehand, so the moisture we were getting should simply serve to just keep the dust down. It turned out to be a chilly cloudy day, and the track apparently got a bit greasy during the first AWD heat when we did get some rain. Other than that though, the track surface was fantastic, and it seemed to just get faster and faster all day.


One of the things I love about the events that Stateline Rallycross puts on, is how diverse the field of cars is. This past event was a perfect example. My favorite two vehicles to see there were a 2.2 Ecotech swapped Baja Bug, and some beautiful hero brought out his bone stock Chevy Volt to have a go. Sir, I salute you!

The RallyMetro continues to impress all with it’s durability. Between Birddog and I, we hammered it 24 times around that course, and the only thing it asked for was more oil … ok, it needed a lot more oil. I brought two quarts with me, and by the end of the day, it was probably a quart and a half low. For perspective, the Metro’s tiny little 3-popper only holds 3-½ quarts. So yeah, we made what basically amounts to a full atmospheric oil change. Can you believe that the state of Illinois had the gall to fail it on emissions? The nerve!

Speaking of Birddog, it was a good thing that: a) he was there codriving, and b) he has a similarly enormous head, because stupid me forgot my friggin’ helmet! Otherwise, I would’ve been off to the nearest motorcycle shop to buy a helmet. It was cool getting to watch the RallyMetro run. We couldn’t ride together like we usually do, since we were sharing the helmet. I particularly enjoyed watching Birddog pull the right front tire in the air on the first hard right turn … or once both right tires in the air. Although I won the title for most RallyMetro air. I was running through a hard right hand turn up in the flats, when the RallyMetro did a pretty good impression of a bicycle! I had the right side about 15-20 degrees in the air, when I counter-steered into the infield and pulled it back down. I only lost maybe four seconds with those shenanigans!


At the end of the day, I came in third in the stock front wheel drive class, and Birddog came in first. My fastest time was just a teensy bit faster than his, but he got faster quicker. My times in the uncounted worker’s heat started in the 124 second range, and my second to last run was a 110.9. On my very last run, that was the one I decided to throw caution to the wind a bit having already bested Birddog’s best time, and put it up on two wheels. That earned me a 114 second time, and a big shit-eating grin!

Sean Vi posted a drone video of some of the event on the book of faces, and the RallyMetro snuck in a few times. You can all enjoy watching it fumagate the area of mosquitos :D

I can’t thank the guys who run the Stateline Rallycross events enough. The competitors are all fantastic to run with. This rallycross stuff is by orders of magnitude the most fun you can have in a car for short money. I encourage you all to try it out, I promise you won’t regret it.


Tiny car is tail happy
Photo: Mediocre Rally Team

I still don’t recommend using the vehicle you need to get to work in tomorrow though.