If your Ford had a Matthew McConaughey, it would be a Lincoln

Who would you fire?

Most car commercials are irritating based on the lame spokesperson featured in their ads. I considered headlining this post along the lines of “who would you throw off a cliff”, or, “if you could beat someone’s ass which would you choose”, or “who would you set on fire”? We’re not animals, us Oppos are fine civilized folks. That said some of these actors get on my last nerve and make me jump for the mute button every time one their commercials air. Offender number one:

What a sorry excuse of a millenial, needs to find meaningful work rather than pimping one of the worst car companies ever. Fuck him.

Now this guy is in some ways even worse, what a fucking whiny douche. He’s not remotely funny, he’s just irritating


And then we have America’s sweetheart pimping Toyota Corolla’s and Camry’s. Evidently these beigemobiles are “adventurous” or “sporty” or “stylish”. And the whole time she’s all kinds of upbeat about the awesome fleet of meh cars.


Since we do not condone violence, which one of these idiots would be the first to go if you could fire one of ‘em??

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