There's been plenty of buzz lately about the latest
wankfests technological masterpieces being released by McLaren, Porsche, and Ferrari. But for 99% of us, these cars are completely irrelevant. So why do we give a shit?
I mean, what is the purpose of a supercar, really? In the past, it was to own the fastest thing on the road - a bombastic, eye-catching symbol of your prowess at the helm of both automobile and slush fund.
Not so much anymore, though. The 918, P1, and (ugh) LaFerrari are fast. They're technologically advanced. They're benchmarks for their respective companies. And they're completely and utterly pointless. Now, the supercar is simply a strap-on for the uber-rich, conspicuous consumption at its most conspicuous and least meaningful.
If you had $1.5 mil to spend on getting the absolute best car in the world, would you buy one of these three? You'd be an absolute moron if you did. If you want to go extremely fast in a car, there are much cheaper, much better options. If you want to cruise around in comfort and speed while catching the eye of everyone around you, there are dozens of better choices that won't immediately mark you out as a neaveau-riche douche bag. If you want thrills, that kind of money can buy some of the most thrilling machines ever made.
Let me put it this way: 918 or a Focke-Wulf 190?
See, one million dollars is an insane amount of money, and sometimes those of us who will struggle to make that much in half our lifetimes forget that. These cars make no sense as a value proposition.
And because of their digital, TCS, PCM, flappy paddle DCT nature, they don't make much sense for those of you who are screaming "Passion! it's all about passion for cars and driving!" either. Drivers want their cars analog for the most part. Sure, we like going fast, but (again) 99% of us will ever drive these things, and if we did, we'd never be able to access the performance available in these cars - especially not on the street.
So why does anyone buy one of these things? What is it that the 918, P1, and Laferrari are good at?
Being new. Being "the best". Being the Most Expensive.
That's it. It's all about showing off. Nobody who buys one of these things will ever push it to its limits more than once.
They're just trophies. Made to be parked, displayed, and polished. Made to guarantee a valet spot in front of the best restaurant in LA, Monaco, or London. Made to be gawked at (and argued over) by the internet and the plebes.
How goddamn boring. Why do we care again?