If your Ford had a Matthew McConaughey, it would be a Lincoln

Why is it illegal to hit kids, again?

These little toddler bastards were just wiping their hands all over my car and climbing on it. I told their mom to please control them. Now they’re calling me mr poopy pants through the window of the restaurant. If one of them snaps my hood ornament off, so help me god I'll punt a child. Have some cars for your time.


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