The Tesla Modumb S

Sometimes, manufacturers are just too dumb. We need to stop them! Tesla haters, unite! And, also, we can make some more Tesla haters with this article. I hope.

1. Engines

Every single car manufacturer has at least one electric car in it’s lineup. But no manufacturer has ever only had electric cars. Tesla, how do you expect us to give money to all those oil dudes in Dubai if you go electric? You are killing the Lambo world of Dubai!


2. Dealerships

Tesla is the only manufacturer that doesn’t do the dealer biz. C’mon, give the people some money! And the test drives! You just hand them out to everyone, without a care in the world. Do you know how bad that could be to the timing belt and other engine components? Oh yea. Umm... tires? [Yea, tires can go bad. I hope... we need to be educated].

3. Cost

Tesla vehicles are just too damn cheap. We need higher prices! MUCH HIGHER! Not $120k, more like $210k! Rip off the people! They won’t know! They just want an ugly car with dumb credentials.


4. Aerodynamics

The drag coefficient is just too good (for other manufacturers). Everyone is laughing at your parachute aero, Tesla. Everybody.


5. Seating

Really? You put kids in the trunk? That’s a great idea! Wait, aren’t we supposed to be insulting Tesla? Nevermind about this.