The DC Area is the largest hellhole in this country.

Here’s why the DC Area sucks shit.

  • All the roads are paved with loose gravel, potholes, crappy patches and dead squirrels. The roads in Pennsylvania are 10000% better than these. Even the highways are 10000% better there than here.
  • The real estate prices are fucking ridiculous. For the price of one human soul, your left kidney and your Grandmother’s prized jewelry you can buy a one bedroom condo in the shitty part of town.
  • It’s way too congested. Good luck escaping this dump on any road.
  • The traffic laws in Virginia are way too strict. Sorry going 80 miles per hour or 20 over at any time means jail!
  • Evidently, the same city planner in charge of the road system in Mali was contracted to come design roads in the DC area. What’s that? You want road markings that don’t look like asshole? Get bent.
  • There are zero fun roads within 100 miles of DC on the Virginia side at least. The ones that used to be fun aren’t anymore.
  • The GW Parkway is some shit. It was a little more fun before they turned it into a pothole sanctuary.
  • It’s overdeveloped. Like crazy. IS THAT AN OPEN PLOT OF LAND? PUT A HOUSE THERE, THAT LAND CANNOT BE WASTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • The crime rate is nuts. Even the “Nice” parts of DC aren’t that nice.
  • Everywhere that isn’t overdeveloped isn’t overdeveloped because the developers are scared for their life whenever they get near.
  • Summer here is miserable. It’s like somebody farted in a giant microwave with DC inside of it.
  • It’s miserably flat. There is no scenery whatsoever unless you want to drive out to Great Falls or something.
  • There are no real rural areas anywhere nearby, it’s all Suburbia for the privileged.
  • Everybody is constantly texting and driving or just using their phone. ALWAYS, YES THAT INCLUDES YOU DOUCHECANOE IN THE BLACK 7-SERIES.

So, that’s why DC sucks. There are more reasons that I can’t think of trust me. Feel free to contribute those.

I’m really looking forward to leaving this damn area for good.


Typical DC Real Estate Agent: “3 Car Garage, two identical mini mansions available, close to city, good neighborhood.”

Those two houses are completed now. Both of them have three car garages and are quite large. The only problem is that they are 50 yards away from 395. Which is a very loud, congested highway 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 12 months a year. This just goes to show how overpopulated this area is getting that they take desperate measures to sell houses.

And this is how much they’re trying to get for that house.....…