If your Ford had a Matthew McConaughey, it would be a Lincoln

Why You Should Invest In A Pontiac G8 GXP

I would like to start this article by saying that I am highly qualified to be giving investment advice. In fact, I'm 20 years old and in college, which means that I'm not only extremely smart, but I also have a wealth of life experience to draw upon to inform my opinions (minus that micro economics class I failed first year).

Now that's out of the way, and everyone trusts me, here are a few reasons why the car pictured above is the smartest thing you could spend your hard-earned $35,000 on. For those of you who were thinking of saving that money for things like education, or your retirement fund, or healthcare, or donating to charity, or something not nearly as practical as a rear-wheel-drive, V8, manual (!), sports sedan, listen to my words.


1) It's a rear-wheel-drive, V8, manual (!), sports sedan. Even if you're not looking for an investment opportunity, and just need a new car, this one is pretty bitchin'. First of all, it has rear-wheel-drive, which means you can do drifts all day long, because that's what people with RWD do. They drift everywhere, unless they're in a Volvo 240, in which case they lament the fact that the weed-whacker engine doesn't have enough power to overwhelm the rear wheels, let alone get it up a mildly-steep hill. You won't have that problem in the Pontiac— with an LS3 V8 in this rolling lump of American iron (or high-strength steel, whatever), you've got 415 hp and 415 lbs/ft to light up those tires whenever the mood strikes you. And, best of all, doing so has never been easier due to the presence of three glorious pedals. Well, two glorious pedals— the brake pedal isn't that fun. That's right, these came in 6-speed configuration. Dump the clutch at 5,000 RPMs, and you won't be able to see through the cloud of smoke behind you, or hear the police sirens!

Holy shit, are those the wheels from the CTS-V?! Yes, yes they are. And those are Brembos behind them. Almost like they engineered it for more than straight line performance! Which neatly brings me on to my second point: It's not just good down a drag strip (although 4.5 to 60 and 13.0 through the quarter mile at 129.6 mph isn't shabby), it's also good through corners. In fact, it was tuned on the Nurburgring! Or however you spell that. This was a trendsetter back in 2009 for tuning your chassis, suspension, and dampers on that famed racetrack. Nowadays, everyone is doing it, but this is where they got it from. Probably. Maybe. At any rate, Aaron Robinson at Car and Driver wrote: "The 2009 Pontiac G8 GXP is just the sort of four-door Corvette Americans have long prayed for, with sharp steering, fabulous response from the four-piston Brembo brakes, exceptionally balanced and neutral handling, and a simple and classy look to the interior layout and trim". A four door Corvette, huh?

And that brings me onto my third point: this thing will not only reduce you to tears in its muscle car cum sports car glory, it will also reduce the other four people and their luggage that are also in the car with you to tears. Yes, even the luggage will be crying— Pontiac's majesty isn't lost on anyone or anything.


That's an interior from GM's glory days. I can taste the soft-touch plastics and build-quality from my desk, where I should be working.

One of the main reasons why this is a good investment (haven't written much about that yet) is that this was the last great sporty Pontiac ever produced— let alone of the last Pontiacs ever produced, period— and, at only 1829 of them made, it's as rare as a black-and-blue ribeye. If you don't get that reference, read up on your cooking methods. This car was only produced in the 2009 model year, and Pontiacs ended production in the 2009.5 model year. This car will be hugely desirable down the line. It has one of the last— and one of the all-time greatest— naturally aspirated V8s, it has one of the last manual-transmissions, and it's the last great model produced by one of the greatest American manufacturers. This has greatness flowing through every little part of it— every little part that is so susceptible to recall it's not even funny.


The last reason why this car is a good investment actually has something to do with economics. One would expect a car like this— from a defunct brand, with a thirsty engine, with a transmission no one knows how to use— to have depreciated like crazy. You know, comparable BMWs and Mercedes' would have tens of thousands of dollars off their MSRPs at this point, five years down the line. The model I've linked to on eBay has about $110 off its original sticker price. You see, back in 2009, when no one was buying these, they were marked $5000 off their original price, to $37,610, according to Bengt Halvorson at Motor Authority. This car is for sale at $37,500. If this car doesn't appreciate like crazy over the next ten years, I will, to take a line from Mr. Grimwig of Oliver Twist, eat my head.

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