Operating automobiles in winter carries a unique set of challenges. However, other wheeled conveyances experience similar setbacks but receive far less press. Here is a handy cheat-sheet listing alternative transportation and the information you need to know.

1. Bicycle: Why would you do that to yourself? Have you no dignity? I would sooner ride the city bus than be seen out in the cold, pedaling like some impoverished fool.

2. Skateboard: All of your flailing and erratic motion will be interpreted as "sick tricks." You should have a Vans sponsorship in under an hour. Please wear a helmet, but the kneepads aren't very fashionable anymore so I would skip those.

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3. Razor Scooter: LOL what are you, 12 years old? Shouldn't you be playing Call of Duty or something?

4. Motorcycle: Clearly you're a badass. You don't need any of this advice.

5. Golf Cart: Duh, go jump a snowdrift and upload the video to YouTube via your potato ASAP. Remember to shoot in landscape.

6. 18-Wheeler: The trick here is to keep moving, in a straight line if possible. If at any time you are forced to turn or stop, pray to god that you've already filed all VINs and other incriminating numbers off the cab, and pray again that your legs are not injured in the crash because you are going to have to run far, far away and never come back.

7. Zamboni: You're probably at a hockey game, so just try not to get punched in the head.

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8. Forklift: CRUSH ALL THE SNOWMEN

9. Jet Ski: What, you've never wondered? I bet it would work in some deep slush.

10. Monster Truck: No change in driving habits required.

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