Racing Experience: None, but I promise I’d try really hard and do all the interviews and PR stuff you wanted me to.
Salary: Not needed, I’d even pay several dollars to do the job.
Other qualifications: I once got to drive an SL65 AMG and I can use a microscope well. I’m a grad student which is good because it means I know how to perform under pressure.

Mercedes: if you see this and are interested, give me the 300 SLR Uhlenhaut coupé for a couple of weeks and I’ll show you what I can do. I’d also accept an AMG GT-R as a consolation prize.