If your Ford had a Matthew McConaughey, it would be a Lincoln

With so many drivers being considered to fill Rosberg's seat in F1, I'd like to formally throw my name in the running

Racing Experience: None, but I promise I’d try really hard and do all the interviews and PR stuff you wanted me to.
Salary: Not needed, I’d even pay several dollars to do the job.
Other qualifications: I once got to drive an SL65 AMG and I can use a microscope well. I’m a grad student which is good because it means I know how to perform under pressure.

Mercedes: if you see this and are interested, give me the 300 SLR Uhlenhaut coupé for a couple of weeks and I’ll show you what I can do. I’d also accept an AMG GT-R as a consolation prize.

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