Alcoholic Irn Bru.
Take just over two litres of WKD Iron Brew, 350ml of vodka, some ice and a large jar with a tap.
Pour in the iron brew, vodka and then ice, screw on the lid (not too tight), wait for the ice to do it’s work, then enjoy the f*** out of it.
UPDATE: alcohol + carbonation = intoxication.
Doner kebab meat, doner kebab burger and chips. Perfect response to inebriation.