Some memories from my college days...

(PHONE RINGS)

Me: Thank you for calling Advance Auto Parts, this is Steve, how may I help you?

Customer: I’m lookin’ for a battery for a ‘94 Honda.

Me: And what model Honda do you have?

Customer: A ‘94.

Me: No, I mean what’s your car called?

Customer: A Honda.

Me: No, no, I mean what is the model name of your car? Honda Accord, Honda Civic...”

Customer: Honda Sonata.

(PHONE RINGS)

Me: Thank you for calling Advance Auto Parts, this is Steve, how may I help you?

Customer: How much for brake pads for a ‘89 Po-Niac Grand Pricks?

Me: Um... you mean a Pontiac Grand Prix?

Customer: No, it’s a Po-Niac Grand Pricks.

Me: Yes, it’s pronounced Pontiac Grand Prix.

Customer: Dammit son, it says Po-Niac Grand Pricks on the back of it. You sumbitches give me the wrong parts every damn time, so don’t try an’ tell me I ain’t got the same model car I say I do.

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Me:. Um, okay... do you need front or rear brake pads for your Grand Pricks?

(PHONE RINGS)

Me: Thank you for calling Advance Auto Parts, this is Steve, how may I help you?

Customer: Do you have a thermostat for a ‘73 Super Beetle?

Me: Hang on, let me check. ‘73 Super Beetle, and you’re looking for a thermo- WAIT A MINUTE!

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Customer: (laughter)

Me: Dan, is that you?

Customer: (more laughter) Yeah, it’s me. Wanna go grab some beers at Mutt’s after you get off?

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Me: Hell yeah.

“Customer:” Sweet. Meet at my place?

Me: Yep. See ya.