Said a drunken individual yesterday in a “reu” hosted by my dear friend Fake Name.

Fake invited many people to her house before going clubbing, I decided to join them before they went clubbing because I don’t like clubbing. So I took my jeep to Fake’s house, just in time for her to go and change and leave me with her “actor friends”

Some 40 minutes later Random Man appeared and interrupted a conversation I was having with Fake’s girlfriend who was a radio host in an indigenous community to ask us what we thought about affirmative action and article 2, what y’all call sovereign immunity.

Later on Woman 3 and Man 2, started making out with Woman 4 in the kitchen as I tried to explain to Random what affirmative action actually was...

I can’t deny it was a thoughtful conversation, I just wasn’t expecting to have it with someone who was chugging down fourlokos.

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Then Fake asked us all out as they were going clubbing, as I made my way back to my car Random asked if I could take him to the club rather than walk and I agreed, but then Woman 3, Woman 4, and Man 3 got in the car, important to note Woman 3 and 4 kept making out in the back seat despite our pleading, they later absorbed Man 3 into their ball of mess and noise.

Then this morning my car went into limp mode over the camshaft position sensor.... Again.