You buy a former rental car...
That you plan to drive ~75 miles per day...

And it's a VOLKSWAGEN!

HA HA HA I AM SURE THIS CAR WILL GIVE ME THOUSANDS OF TROUBLE-FREE MILES AND WILL HAVE NO BIZARRE, UNIDENTIFIABLE MECHANICAL ISSUES WHATSOEVER! HA HA HA HARDER, MISTRESS! WHIP ME HARDER!

SR20 and pls disregard Mardi Gras beads:

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